maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Randomize
