I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
