Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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