Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
