She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
