I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
