Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
