When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
