she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
