end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
