oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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