Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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