I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
