Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
