I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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