great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
