the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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