Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
