My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize