Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
