Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
