It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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