we have officially mastered the walk of shame
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
