just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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