Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize