I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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