At least make sure they are 18
Why
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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