giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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