i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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