O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
