if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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