this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
