mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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