can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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