My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
