she was so not down for the gang bang
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
