I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
