When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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