im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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