Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
