You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
