dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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