a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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