This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
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