his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
