Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
