I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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