so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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