overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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