I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
