Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize