Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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