i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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