can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
