I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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