Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize