Sry I called you an 8
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
