the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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