look no pants
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
