i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize