found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
