Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
