every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
