Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Vodka?
Forever.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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