I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
