Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
