And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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