Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
