Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
