Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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