I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
