that's an acceptable place to lick
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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